This is long overdue.. I've just been so lazy, tired & busy that I didn't get around to it. But I wanted to do this tonight, just in case I no longer have the memory of the day and I wanted to record how I felt.. Apsl bunyi mcm sedey jer.. he he he .. mcm tak suit pulak cerita happy.

I had been so nervous the night before the defense.. I had smsed all my siblings to make doa for me earlier.. my youngest brother rose to the occasion (ha ha ha gila kembang ah Aci baca ni) and went to the mosque to pray hajat for me.  thanks dik...

In any case, what I wanted to remember was that how touched I was by everyone. Bassam had been helping me the entire week, listening and relistening to me practicing my speech.. making comments, perfecting it.. god knows how many hours he spent helping me..

So this is what happened the day before... I had dropped by my advisor's office and gave her the finalized slides... it went well.. luckily she was in a good mood and was giving me motivation..  then I checked tompkins 201, the venue of the defense and saw that - wuhoo!! it was empty.. I can practice in it, I was worried that my voice wouldn't be loud enough.. now I need audience.. so I called Osman..  and the kid promptly dropped whatever he was doing and came to listen to my speech..  I had almost finished when fatema drops by saying "Ya .. salam.. why are you worried about your voice, I can hear you from the hallway" ...heh heh...we then walk towards my office and fatema says.. "What about food".. I dgn blurnya... what about it?.. dia bising kena ada makan2.. elok sikit.. pstu dah bg panic org.. dahlah I still needed to do stuff for my presentation.. last minute changes as recommended by Bassam.. So I called Ratna.. who then came to the office and started looking online at what we could do.. in the meantime, I was repracticing with Bassam..... till about 10 pm... when we were done.. Ratna announces that she and Fatema has gotten it! We are going to have Potbelly Sandwiches .. and cookies and fruits... At this point, my cup runneth over, my closest friends were the ones who were with me that day.. I was so touched at what they were doing, Bassam was trying to irritate Ratna into adding soup into the menu, Fatema nagging me to be more professional during the presentation and not laughing or smiling. So then we left and me, Ratna & Fatema went to Potbelly. I return home tired, but got a phone call from Osman, saying that I should read Surah Fathah, or the Opening.. so that all doors will be open for me tomorrow.. then he proceeded to tell me that he would also read it for me since according to him, the other person reading would be purer and his doa would be accepted.. okay Osman.. ha ha ha.. I was too touched at the fact that he would be reading Quran for me that I almost didn't pay attention to his instructions telling which page the sura was in.. he then proceeded to read the 1st verse.. how sweet.. I read it that night, and slept peacefully..

Next morning, Latif calls me to let me know that he has arrived at the airport.. I pick him up from the Courthouse metro.. I was very glad that my cousin had flew in all the way from Indy to give me moral support for my defense.. heh.. heh.. actually, he didn't have much of a choice, I was like.. Datangla sini... bagi la moral support.. anyway, his presence calmed my nerves a bit.. mostly because he was nonchalant about it.. confident jer.. he said that, ni benda yg dah jadi, dah buat pun, tinggal nak present jer.. I've never heard of anyone screwing it up that bad. So then I dressed up and we left.. woh.. takut gila ah..

Needless to say, it went well.. I also had another visitor, my external examiner had flew in from Georgia Tech, Dr. Book... Such a cool and nice guy.. alhamdulillah.. memang Allah bukakkan hati dia nak tolong saya. He had never met me before, but was willing to fly in, on his own expenses to be my external examiner. My defense went without mishap.. they asked me a few questions that I didn't know how to answer, but I was equipped with mom's politically correct answer.. Don't be apologetic, you have done more than enough for the PhD.. thank the person questioning and say that it can be done as possible future work.. So I did that.. my style.. Smiled and said, "Oh thank you for the VERY good suggestion, I think that could be implemented as possible future work".. Of course when Ioana recapped she stated it this way - you were not even upset.. at one point u were even laughing and you said I will implement it tomorrow.. Trust Ioana to come up with the funniest of things to say.. Ioana was another cool friend.. she came in from NY to my defense.. at some point during the defense, I got stuck, and didn't know what to answer.. I had answered something but the examiners were not satisfied.. after some tennis match back and forth.. Ioana got irritated, she said with VERY LOUD voice .. "Look, this is what happened.. she cannot measure the accurate temperature because of bla.. bla.. bla" Her answer was so confident that the entire committee shut up.. heh..heh.. I then looked at everyone and said.. I can continue? and proceeded to continue..   Fatema was sitting beside Ioana & saying.. "Ya Allah, ni kawan sampai mati.." ha ha ha...

It ended with the chair saying "With REGRET I would like to inform you.. " I dah panic dah.. apa regret tapi muka senyum... "That you are now a PhD" ha ha ha.. then I went out and called all my friends in.. they had been kicked out when the committee were deciding.. my friends all congratulated me..  it was a long line of them.. Ratna and Fatema had bought sandwiches - wheat bread dickey with salad.. healthy lagi.. sedap lak tu.. and also fruits and cookies n chips from Costco.. and I had 2 CONGRATULATIONS helium balloons. Actually, Ratna had brought the balloons from the start and I was nervous that the examiners would think that it was presumptuous of me.. heh.. tapi I suka belon tu! Later, my advisor treated us to food at Penang restaurant, with me and Ioana staying back to enjoy the food more while the others left. We then continued with walking to G'town and having tea at ching ching cha.. he he he..

Mak Teh Zaidah and Uncle Tom cooked meatloaf for us the next day. And Ioana brought me to Lebanese Taverna the day after..

I was reading this today, and it struck me as being true:

Why do I pray for something so hard and God doesn't give it to me?

"Sometimes you pray for something that is not good for you and Allah knows best"

Which has been true in my life last year..Alhamdulillah, this year I am seeing things more clearly and realize that if one is patient, Allah will reward you with things 10 x better.. Truly, for my defense, I couldn't ask for anything more.. I had people praying hajat for me, reading Quran for me, flying miles for me and preparing a little party.. they wanted me to be happy and I realised that I do deserve this.. and I should always treasure this and not try to be with people who do not want to be with me.. a life lesson that took a long time to learn.. and Alhamdulillah, with my friends surrounding me, I couldn't ask for more.. heh.. except of course a kind and pious husband.. ha ha ah.. sempat lagi.

Alhamdulillah, everything went well and I am blessed..

Here's a pic... of that day.. CMOS cikas.. long CMOS..

Side note: Tak de kena mengena dgn cerita di atas

On the way back in the metro today, I saw this young couple, this girl was trying to take pics of her boyfriend and her boyfriend was making funny faces. Kinda reminded me of cikas n Sarah. I smiled. Turned to the right: WHOA.. cute Italian guy.. heh heh.. ceh.. dah sampai Courthouse..