Still haven't resolved my problems but am feeling much, much better and calmer. Perhaps now I will have the courage to face the situation. I was a bit worried, since I am left by myself this weekend, my roomate (the poor girl had to listen to all my complaints and ramblings) is off to Niagara.

Surprisingly was not short on invites this weekend. This week had been hell with all the drama, but thank God for Alison, who doesn't know the story but with her company & kindness has made the week somewhat bearable. She calls me her 'parking angel' since everytime she drops me off she gets a perfect parking spot, which she has never gotten before. It has happened 3 times in a row, I don't think that it has anything to do with me, it must just be the fact that God just decided to reward her instantly on her kindness of driving me home. Amazing isn't it? So Friday was dinner with her and Tom (heh heh.. am surrounding myself with people who boosts my spirits up, Tom thinks that I am fabulous, hey.. it was his words not mine). Saturday night was dinner at Bassam & Amy's - and we topped that off with playing trump cards till 6 a.m in the morning. Can you believe that??? I can't remember the last time I stayed up all night! It must've been sometime when I was an undergrad - God.. that seems SO LONG ago. Me and Amy just learned the game that night and suddenly, we were very good at it. I kept getting all the Aces,.. much to the mortification of other people at the table. I teamed up with Bassam, while Amy was with Alison. Bassam & Alison were really taking the game seriously, they would quarrel over who is allowed to talk, who isn't, whether that was cheating, and each was trying to bluff each other. Both teams were pretty equal in the end :) and when I finally slept at 6:30 am this morning I kept dreaming of Bassam saying "Now smack them!", hinting me to put down the Aces.. I still don't understand why I had so many of them. We must've played 100 games and I could probably could count on 1 hand the number of times I didn't get any Aces, and many times I got 3 of them. It was really crazy the luck I had. All in all the game succeeded in doing what I was trying very hard to do the past week, I wasn't angry anymore, I think I am now ready to deal with my problems with rationale and calm. As opposed to choking the person to death. I hope. We'll see tomorrow.

Now.. am probably being melodramatic. Can't seem to have the courage for the confrontation, but at the same time am miserable and still angry. People keep saying just forgive and forget, but have done that so many times and feel like an idiotic doormat. So I live in silence, and feel like am dying in that process.

Have taken such a long break from blogging. And today, when I finally have the inclination to blog it's all about anger and frustration. Am fed up of mean people. Am also fed up of being patient. Even a saint has his limits, you know. I guess that's it. So much for my vow for making my last year here a pleasant one. Without any conflict with anyone. I've had enough.

So here is how the story goes. Let's start from the beginning, so everyone can understand my confusion. I have been living with my current roomate, for 2 years now, and we get along fine, mostly since we stay out of each others hair. In any case, she then told me that she wants to get married in August. So me then frantically looks for a new roomate, but to no avail. Pikir punya pikir, elokla pindah rumah sorang lagi budak Melayu di sini yang punya bilik untuk disewa bersama. Nak dijadikan kisah, tuan punya rumah 'ala Normala Samsudin, dah punya anak dua, tapi body lawa gila. Mula la terasa rendah diri gila, sebab dia start cakap tak boleh buat macam tu, macam ni, undang2 banyak gila. Terasa macam pelarian pulak. Tambah pulak dengan keadaan rumah kenit dan rasa macam tak muat je nak letak semua barang.. makin la tension.. Enter this new studio, which looks so bright and pretty.. we fell in love with it at first sight. Hope to God that it'll still be available tomorrow and everything works out well....